THE SWORD'S PATH

As I walk in a world created by my God, but tainted by my sin, I find it behooves me to share some of my struggle, my success, my failure. But most of all, I find a world which desperately needs guidance. In a world overgrown by vines of sin, we must equip ourselves with swords to find and keep THE path. Our sword is of the spirit, the Holy Words of God.

Rom 13:8 MKJV (8) Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves another has fulfilled the Law.
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Location: Bryan, Texas, United States

Sometimes adrift, sometimes solid in foundation and steady with a course. I'm prone to shift interests like that big eye in Lord of the Rings. I was born and raised in the high plains of Texas. I have a beautiful wife Kim, an equally beautiful little girl, Audrey, and a great little boy, Bruce.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

So it's been awhile since my last post. I guess you could say I have been having a Moses time. I have withdrawn from the Christian community and gone up the mountain, so to speak. I needed to get honest with myself about my faith and beliefs. I see those as two separate things. Does that make sense? I think we can have faith in the saving grace of Jesus, but still question our beliefs.

Well, I told God flat out that I didn't feel Him. I don't feel the Holy Spirit inside. I don't have much reason at all, really, to have faith in Him. I have this old book with a bunch of stories, and a world full of people that say they believe in basically the same things. I told God I had to be honest and step away a try to look at this from the outside. See I grew up in a Christian home, and sometimes I feel as if I simply believe because that's what I was taught. I needed to rethink this whole thing, if I was going to be honest with myself and others.

What I found scared me a little. It basically seemed ridiculous. We trust in this book of stories, passed down through centuries. In my pragmatic mind, the bible is like a giant fairy tale. It's like I have put my faith in The Lord of the Rings. I told God this. It scared me how silly we sound. My dad is a very realistic fellow. He watches westerns, some comedy, but has no use for fantasy, sci-fi, or anything not grounded in the real world. Well, the idea that he believes in this bible and all it's stories struck me as odd. So there I was, looking at the idea of Christianity as an odd and a fairy tale of a belief system. But let me fast forward to where I am at now.

I hold on to my faith in Jesus. I won't say my faith is strong, I won't say I believe "without a shadow of a doubt", to use a detesting phrase an old pastor of my used to get people saved. And don't ask me why I have faith. I won't be able to answer. I just do. Perhaps because I need some sort of hope. It certainly isn't because of warm and fuzzy feelings I have or any revelations from God. I certainly haven't seen the Red Sea part. But nonetheless, I hold on to my faith.

As I have started reentering the Christian scene with these thoughts, I am finding others in the exact same boat as me. They have faith simply to have faith. No special touch from God needed to believe. Perhaps this is the purest form of faith there is. Faith without any cause to believe. Although I thought this faith weak, and fragile, thinking the smallest wave could crush it, I am finding it to be extraordinarily resilient, and somewhat untouchable. For if I belief simply for no good reason, what could tear that from me?

Well, perhaps I'll go into more detail later about some of my thoughts during the past few months.

In Christ,
Cory

4 Comments:

Blogger Steve Bogner said...

Welcome back Cory. My wife is going through something similar. Growing up, she went to church three times a week, sometimes more. Religion was drilled into her, more with fear than with love. All that is unwinding now, and it's a tough process.

10:09 AM  
Blogger MC Hendrick said...

I can understand what she is going through. My advise to you, just be patient, understanding, and let her sort it out. That's what my wife has done, and it helped wonderfully. I imagine, that's how we should all act most of the time anyway.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Tom Reindl said...

MC, Getting honest with God is a good thing. There of course will be moments when you feel nothing toward God. But you have alredy told Him the truth, and since He knows it already, at the least, you aren't falsely praising Him. I believe the Way starts with absolute honesty, or at least as much honesty as we can muster. Good hope to you.

2:06 PM  
Blogger MC Hendrick said...

Thanks, Tom. I think you absolutely correct.

6:20 AM  

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